Introduction
Amrisha Vaish and Janine Oostenbroek recently published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology (2022) showing the power of remorse – preschoolers forgive people who say “I’m sorry” . This selectivity in forgiving overcomes an otherwise expected favouring of people close to them regardless of remorse (what the study calls, in-group bias.)
Why Forgiveness Matters
Humans are interdependent, so when our social relationships are damaged by transgressions, it is vital we repair them. Vaish and Oostenbroek share that one key to this repair is forgiveness, or replacing negative feelings toward the transgressor with positive emotions. Forgiveness fosters reconciliation and allows transgressors to reenter mutually beneficial relationships, helping to maintain cooperation. Discerning who is remorseful is important to reduce the risk of exploitation by uncooperative individuals (p.1132).
The Research Setting
Forty 5 year olds were tested individually in a quiet lab room for one study each. Two actresses joined the child and the moderator, one actress was identified as being on the child’s team (in-group). The child and actresses spent some time drawing pictures, afterward the actresses accidentally tore the child’s picture. After the incident, the actresses left the room and the moderator asked the child questions about how they felt.
The Power of Remorse
In Study 1, both actresses said they were sorry. When required to identified which actress would be more likely to help them (be cooperative in the future), the majority of children chose the actress on their team. 100% of the children said that neither of the actresses were mean (p.1135).
In Study 2, the actress on the child’s team said, ““Hmm, I’ve torn your picture. Hmph [shrugging shoulders], I don’t care” (p.1136). In this study, the majority of the children identified the actress on the other team as being more likely to help them (be cooperative in the future). 63% of the children identified the actresses on their team as mean (p.1135).
The study shows that preschoolers pervasive in-group bias can be reduced in favour of social and moral considerations.
As Vaish and Oostenbroek state, “From early on, then, forgiveness is tuned to transgressors who directly signal cooperativeness, and this selectivity can overcome an otherwise robust in-group bias” (p.1137).
Conclusion
This study shows that when individuals respond appropriately with remorse, team mate (in-group member) transgressors receive the benefit of the doubt. This partial forgiveness was not unconditional. In Study 2, when their team mate was unremorseful and showed lack of cooperative intent, 5-year-olds no longer favoured team mates; rather, they preferentially forgave the out-group member who had shown remorse.
These studies show a remarkably sophisticated forgiveness mechanism by the preschool years wherein children preferentially forgive those most likely to be good future cooperation partners.
Additional reading on this topic from a trusted source:
Helping Our Children Say I’m Sorry by Janet Lansbury
